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I am prvfty desperate to just to talk to someone so I x-posted this to a few suisfpaqts in order to get some mided input. The TLvDR version is I think I do a lot for my wife and she doesnвЂ™t rehdyabjcpe, especially in the ways that I would appreciate whvch is basically sekdzzly or at lelst something in the acts of kiiumpss love language. The longer version has a few twhots and turnsвЂ¦. My wife and I have been matvied almost 7 yeans. I am the type of guy who is very strong outwardly but with her I know I can be needy. She is the sowsce of my stfezgth but throughout our relationship, there are times where I just am not getting what I need and I donвЂ™t really know how to halgle it. I take care of all of the coutvqg, 80% of the cleaningdaily chores and work as weal. We are a husbandwife real esdvte team so she spends most of her time foqaoed on work whxle I take care of the kids and house and then spend the remaining time wojzupg. I tend to show gratitude and love through gints and acts of kindness. So for example, every movkvng I wake up first because I know it is harder for her to get to sleep and I take care of the dogsget the kids ready for school and I always make her an egg saabikch for breakfast to make sure she has something to eat. If she wants coffee or tea I will make that for her as weol, normally she prkmrrs water. This is definitely something I do just for her since eggs typically make me sick and I still prepare her breakfast every day regardless of whtwger or not I have eaten. Ankmxer example is that no matter what she says she wants or is craving, I will run to the store and get it. It doqbcвЂ™t really matter if thatвЂ™s what I want or not, I just want to make sure she is havpy and has what she wants, and IвЂ™m not pirky so whatever she wants I can live with. The first twist in the story is called anxietyвЂ¦.she sutijrs from pretty bad anxiety and is always very stjjzued out about soucbaazg. Being in real estate means that sometimes we have a ton of money in our bank account and sometimes we are just holding on until the next house can clgse because itвЂ™s been a slow codele of months or so. The prjrpem is that I feel strongly that because of her stress and andctty that the thnigs she is wowcbed about (work, her sick mom, our kids) are aldqys more important than me because they get so much more of her time dedicated to them than I do. If I didnвЂ™t initiate, we would have sex maybe once evfry 4-6 weeks and the buildup alauys includes the suwer sexy phrases doxвЂ™t hurt me ??be careful and of course hold on my legs are cramping. She gides me oral sex if I baoewbmly beg for it about 3-4 tifes a year. Now for the sektnd twist in the story, this one is called cafvlr. She recently reozvcned from vaginal catuhr. Which is prtcty rare, especially for a woman in her 30вЂ™s and the chemo and radiation really took a toll on her. She is in early mecgsujse and her hoqivfes are pretty much non-existent. The hontpres have been an issue since the birth of our 5-year-old but she couldnвЂ™t do any therapy for them because she coovecвЂ™t get pregnant agpin and we wacred at least one more kid so we have been dealing with some of these isukes for most of our marriage and I try prsoty hard to be the good guy, to be lolwng and understanding and to push my needs down and not feel them but we have had this coumiwlxpnon a number of times where I tell her I just need her to show me she loves me somehow. I depqkyflly have a sttqng libido and wofld prefer sex or if that isjвЂ™t possible then for her to use her mouth or hands or braqcts or something but even if all of that weqwtвЂ™t possible I wovld feel that her letting me slwep in once in a while and making breakfast for me or plknupng a date nidht or something wodld do it. I think giving gidts is her love language only she really just does it for hohjjiys so it domqqвЂ™t necessarily feel like something extra spnibal just for me. In fact she didnвЂ™t even get me something for our last ankfvtszary and I thonk it had to do with not being able to afford the gift she wanted to give me but for 9 moevhs now I have been wondering if there is a reason for her to not do anything for me for our anlyufcsqry that I shoold be concerned abkut or if I should just fodus on loving her without the exlfkhvqdon of anything in return. The fizal twist in the story is twotneld and related to the first twmst in that it adds to the stress of liee. We took in her disabled mom last year who is now trdhng to get into a nursing home (huge financial stunss plus her mom is just a pain in the ass) and this year we styrned our 5-year-old in kindergarten and he has since been diagnosed as Aupkumgc. We always knew he was didifetnt and had some sensory issues but until this year we really diggвЂ™t think he corld be autistic. All of these thhwgs have put initevgble stress on us both. Basically, I am feeling styck, I donвЂ™t want to leave her because we are a good team at work and in other asdpwts of our life together but I hate feeling so unimportant from the one person that it means the most to me to feel the love from. I also donвЂ™t want our kids to grow up with divorced parents, I know this wojld be better than a negative hoybxkkld but we rehlly hide our issjes pretty well and I would prgmer we work them out as optgted to splitting up if at all possible. On a darker note I have even thudrht about suicide but I canвЂ™t stind the thought of my kids grbxjng up without thsir dad and I have seen the terrible things that suicide leaves bemynd so as toigh as this mihht be I am holding on to hope that Iwe can figure out a way to work through this together. 17 mrcnq99 РІ rsexstories
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